Have you ever written a post that you always wanted to write but never really knew if you’d get to write it?

This is that post, well one of them.

Today is the 2 month mark.

After nearly a year of stress, and struggle, and waiting…..

I have 2 months left.

Until another round of stress, and struggle, and (this time the) hard work begins.

But I have 2 months left of the first part.

That’s good enough, and worthy of being celebrated, for now.

I’ve started to think about “The Day.” I worry, for lack of a better word, that it’ll be somewhat anticlimactic. It won’t be a change that will come as quickly as snapping your fingers, I know that. But what if I put too many expectations into it and it’s “just” an average day.

There is the possibility.

But I refuse to focus on it.

To be honest today feels more anticlimactic than I think most people would expect. I’m finding myself being reminded that the real journey is in getting there.

Right now, I’m getting there. I’m on the journey. I don’t always have to enjoy it but I do have to live, and thrive, in it, so I might as well take it all in.

And it’s a lot to take in, once I allow myself to.

I thought I’d share a portion of a personal journal entry from yesterday (a first for me):

“Tomorrow marks two months until ‘The Day.’ In so many ways I can’t believe it. I also think it’s too far away. There are times when I can’t believe this leg of the journey is almost over. Then there are times when it still feels 6 months away. It’s an odd feeling, and place to be. But I’d rather be here than where I was in October. Pretty soon I’ll see the reason for this for myself. I can’t wait for that moment, because it’ll without a doubt be pretty awesome and God will be glorified”
-July 9, 2009

I’ve taken many of you on this rollercoaster ride with me. So I’m taking a moment today to say thanks for climbing into the seat next to me and holding on. Have I ever mentioned that I dislike rollercoasters?

I wish I could say the ride is almost over but it’s really just beginning. Can you bear to stay on the ride a little longer?

I’ll close with a song. (Is anyone really THAT surprised?) It’s really pop, not to mention popular, and kind of cheesy, but it fits the occasion so why not share it with you all?

Thirteen Things I Learned From Vacation

In no particular order…..

1. Just because an airline asks for your meal preference when buying a ticket doesn’t mean you’ll actually get a meal.

2. Georgia is a whole hell of a lot bigger than people think it is.

3. Don’t trust your cousin’s alarm clock at face value, even if it says 7am it could really be 9am

4. It is humanly possible for someone in my family to not live within close proximity to a Friendley’s or Denny’s, or even know what one is.

5. Staying up late and getting up early to talk is so much better than going out.

6. Navy men can be covered in so many tattoos that they look like a coloring book.

7. Eight CDs is not enough for a road trip. If your iPod is broken get it fixed well in advance of said trip.

8. It is possible to go to Orlando without feeling the need to go to Disney World

9. License plates are also called “Tags”

10. Having a hearing impaired parent can provide some unexpected entertainment while you’re jamming in the car, besides you can turn up the music really loud and they’ll think it’s at normal volume.

11. Your cousin can find an acceptable place to live without your input.

12. Jamming in the car with your cousin on the way to get ice cream is one of the best vacation memories you can ever have.

13. Next time the trip has to be longer.

I guess I should explain my second absence from blogging & my not very descriptive posts.

Back when I was trying to decide what to do with my summer my dad brought up the idea of a road trip.

It was on.

It was off.

On again.

Off again.

I changed the dates.

My dad made the plan.

I had to change the plan.

Somehow we made it through & had an awesome time.

In less than a week we traveled to 4 cities, through ten states (or more), in 2 time zones, spent countless hours in the car, slept in 4 different beds, used 2 showers, been to Disney World, seen the Gulf Of Mexico in someone’s back yard, and so much more.

It was like Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, but with my dad.

If I had to pick a theme for this road trip it would have to be, “Get busy living or get busy dying,” because that’s basically what I did.

I never really considered this trip to be my “last hurrah” before surgery but that doesn’t mean it didn’t turn out that way.

I walked though an airport for the first time by myself. Something I never thought I’d do, especially now. Typically I’m using my wheelchair and/or I’m with someone else. This time I wasn’t AND I walked though the metal detector without it beeping, which was my biggest concern believe it or not.

I had to pack my medications and send it down with my dad, never really taking into account how much medication I could need to take on a daily basis; that is until I tried to fit it all into a zip lock bag. How did I become such an old person? One more drug I’ll need a bigger bag.

My trip started with a very early flight to the hometown of The Mouse to visit my cousin & his dog Sammy. My cousin also just bought his first house so it was fun to check out his new digs. My aunt & uncle were also visiting on their own trip but our excursions crossed for a couple of days. I’m going to visit again for sure. I love spending time with Sammy!

Then we road tripped it to the panhandle to visit another aunt, uncle, and cousin. And I can’t forget their 2 dogs. Would you believe my uncle has a dog that’s 17 years old (that’s 119 in dog years)? Harley’s pretty awesome. Shadow and I have some work to do on our relationship.

The last 2 stops were to see 2 more cousins and their families in their respective states. Their dogs and one of the cats are cool. The other cat, well, I’m not sure there’s much hope for her and her relationship with anybody.

The moral of the story?

You can get a lot done in less than a week if you try hard enough (or not).

I have to say the most surprising thing about the whole trip was not needing any of my medication for any of the trip (with the exception of ibuprofen which is as much of a necessity as food & water is to me at this point). No sleeping pills, or pain killers, or side effect remedies. My allergies didn’t even bother me.

The hardest part of the trip was bypassing DC completely. As much as I wish I could’ve seen some friends I stay away from there in everyway possible around the fourth of July, and most other major events. I’m no dummy.

To say this trip allowed me to feel almost normal for the first time in nearly a year wouldn’t be an understatement or tall tale.

I came home with awesome memories, and enough dirty laundry to match, unfortunately.

Tomorrow I go back to work. I have to be honest; I’m not really looking forward to it. I’m still tired out from my multi state adventure and wish I could just keep sleeping the days away, at least for a few more days. Besides who wants to go back to work after having a week off to do whatever you damn well please?

I’m so close to my homes

yet far enough away.
But I’m still happy.

My next stop is……

although I’m not sure where. I can’t find it on the map.
But I’m visiting my cousin so the where doesn’t matter.

At the time of this post I’m sitting in the airport waiting for my flight to none other than The Sunshine State.
That is what they call this place isn’t it?

Oh yeah, and my cousin leaves for his trip to Europe today too. I’m trying not to think about that very much. I’ll have a better time than he will anyway. (Whose high school takes them to Europe for a graduation trip anyway?!?!)

I’ve never been so happy to see a Friday in all my life, or at least recently. I have 2 more days of work left. Meaning I’m halfway through my work week, usually. But this week I’ve been scheduled to work 6 days, instead of my usual 4.

I’m not complaining because this temporary change is what allowed me to make a retreat last weekend so I wouldn’t go back and change a thing. But I am tired.

I’m holding onto the peace I started to rediscover 7 days ago, because without it I’d probably be so strung out that I’d be a walking hairy beast to everyone I’d interact with.

As many blessings as this week has brought me I can’t wait until I can sit down and read or watch a movie, or anything else, with having to think about what I should be doing or have to do soon. So Saturday, 2:30pm can not come fast enough.

On the plus side I’ve been sleeping miraculously well. (Praise God!)

I found really awesome books, I think, last week and I can’t wait to read them. Ever since I started writing, way back in ’98, I’ve never found the best balance for reading, writing, socializing, relaxing, etc. I go through phases instead, for whatever reason, so I’m looking forward to my next reading phase.

In spite of all my busyness I was able to watch The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, on my only non working day. It’s a good movie but I think I’ll stay away from any films currently generating any Oscar, or any other award show buzz, until the frenzy is over.

I haven’t really been able to enjoy such films as much as I thought I would, and I think it’s because there’s just too much hype surrounding many movies that I can’t just enjoy them for what they are.

Like I’ve said, I’m a movie snot.

Check out this video I first saw at Brewster’s. It’s pretty awesome, his blog is pretty good too.

Have you noticed that this post is a little scattered? It’s title might be something of a lie, but I had the best of intentions.

Because what can you really say about something like this?

Here name is Kimberley Vlaminck

A – ADVOCATE FOR: Missionary work, I think everyone should at least try it once.

B – BEST FEATURE: My sarcasm

C – COULD DO WITHOUT: Ignorance

D – DREAMS & DESIRES: A happy and fully life

E – ESSENTIAL ITEMS: Paper & a pen, or a good book

F – FAVORITE PAST TIME: Watching a movie

G – GOOD AT: Anything I swear I’d never do or thought I’d do

H – HAVE NEVER TRIED: Making my own film

I – IF I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS: I’d probably travel, invest, and donate the rest

J – JUNKIE FOR: Bad entertainment

K – KINDRED SPIRIT: Jennifer Rothschild

L – LITTLE KNOWN FACT: I think the world would be a better place without people

M – MEMORABLE MOMENT: Going to my cousins wedding in Missouri

N – NEVER AGAIN WILL I: Work in childcare for an extended period

O – OCCASIONAL INDULGENCE: Buying things I don’t need off the $1 rack at Target

P – PROFESSION: Wanderer

Q – QUOTE: “The simple fact that I’ve had more good days than I’ve had bad days means that I’m O.K.”

R – REASON TO SMILE: Finding humor in the weirdest places

S – SORRY ABOUT: Not very much

T – TAG SOME FRIENDS: Tonggu Mama, Rachel, Katey, Raechel, Littlesack, Cindy

U – UNINTERESTED IN: Corporate America

V – VERY SCARED OF: Personal Poverty

W – WORST HABIT: Not planning when I should and planning when I shouldn’t

X – X MARKS MY IDEAL VACATION SPOT: Cape Cod

Y – YUMMIEST DESSERT: A sundae at Sundae School

Z – ZODIAC SIGN: Aquarius

I guess I was serious when I said I’d take breaks from writing from now on. I’ve tried to write on several occasions but everything I ended up writing ended up being deleted shortly after.

Last week was unusually difficult for me. After finalizing plans I was struggling with knowing whether I was doing the right thing or not, and I got incredibly ill. So ill in fact that I almost canceled my plans for days later making the assumption that I would never be able to feel better by then.

I really believe I was being attacked spiritually. I know it doesn’t make sense but it’s the only thing that does make sense as well, because after spending time in prayer, for lack of knowing what else to do, I felt better and haven’t felt that horrible since.

I was blessed enough to get the opportunity to make a retreat this past weekend (thanks to the persistence and hospitality of Sisters). Who would’ve thought that I live about an hour from an amazing retreat center?

I was able to have a few days to do what I really needed to do, spend much needed time reconnecting and rediscovering the Lord as well as have some quiet to find some peace (or at least try to).

I was given the opportunity to reconnect with the girl I was in college, just 3 years ago. The girl that celebrated Mass every day, or at least made an effort to. The girl that was excited to sit and adore the Lord for an hour, or more, when asked, and sometimes not. The girl that took part in morning and night prayer even when she didn’t completely understand it, and even though she still doesn’t. The girl that found Jesus in everything, or put the effort into trying to.

It was amazing.

I’ve caught myself missing that girl in the recent years, especially lately.

Although I had no idea how much I missed that girl, until this weekend.

I’ve been to the mountain top of spiritual foundation and I’ve, unknowingly, climbed back down.

It’s time to climb the mountain again.

Not try to.

Just climb.

The Lord is there at the top waiting for me.

So that’s where I need to go.

It’s where I need to be.

This weekend was full of major gifts straight from Heaven.

I walked into a house wanting to visit a friend & the Lord.

I walked out of the same house knowing a family I never knew I had.

It’s time to stop looking the gift horse in the mouth.

“To whom much is given, much is expected.”

The Lord expects much from me.

It’s time to honor His gifts and live up to His expectations.

If He expects it, I owe it to Him and to myself to expect the same from myself.

________________________________________________________

Did you know this year is the Year Of The Priest? So from the Feast Of The Sacred Heart of Jesus, June 19, 2009 until June 19, 2010 take time to Praise God for the priests and other Spiritual Fathers in your life.

I’m becoming quite a fan of this reposting thing, so I think I’ll continue with it. Not only does it give my “new” readers a peak into my past, it allows me to revisit and reflect on the past. (Does that make me sound old?)

I didn’t add much to this post but what I did, at the very end, is just the cherry at the top of the sundae, so to speak.

From October 11, 2008:

“If I were to write a book about my family that’s the title I would give it. Even though both sides are vastly different I walk away from 99.9% of the family functions I attend thinking, “We’re all nuts.”

My cousin got married in April, and true to form the nuts came out in full force; I took the position of “Head Nut” flying all the way from Washington to be there. I spent more time in the air than I did on the ground. Was it crazy? Yes. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat.

We were the yellers, the laughers, the crazy dancers, the jokers, and the life of the party. We had the couple that had been married the longest. We had the couple that was married the shortest. We brought the stories. We brought the drama. We had the reunions. We cleaned up the best. We held up the bar (with the groom, who fit right in). We were the fun. I always say we put the party in wedding party, and even thought there was no technical wedding party at the wedding, we still brought it.

Even when we’re amongst ourselves we’re the life of the party.
Today my cousin turned 17. I watched him play the end of a double header. Technically he got taken out just before I got there but I got to see him at bat, where he got walked twice, incase anyone was wondering. He was under a lot of pressure, from my aunt, to hit a homerun. Sean hit his first homerun on his birthday so it’s only natural to expect the same result every time the opportunity presents itself, right?

After dinner (pizza for everyone & a peanut butter sandwich for me), cake (for everyone else), and gifts the real fun started.

Only in my family will the following topics be linked in the same conversation:

-Cal Ripkin’s age

-The little known fact that Matt Hasselbeck has been struck by lightning twice and how that might have something to do with why he doesn’t have and hair

-Who else was born on Sean’s birthday?

-Eleanor Roosevelt

-How attractive (or not) Eleanor Roosevelt is (my uncle even provided evidence)

-The relationship between fashion and Syphilis (Why must I open my mouth?)

-The latest school fundraiser

-Sarah Palin

-My unusual ideals when Alaska is in question

-Tonsils

-Dislike for school

-Tourists in Newport

-The closing to Steve & Barry’s

-Post Traumatic Stress at the Allergist

-Roe vs Wade

-School lunches

-Skin tags

………..whatever else we thought of at the time that I forget right now

Like I said, my family tree is full of nuts. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“My family is big and loud but they’re my family. We fight and we laugh and yes, we eat meatballs off a fork while in the hammock in the back yard. And where ever I go, what ever I do they will always be there.”

I dare somebody to name what movie I adapted the quote from. And yes, I think every time I see the movie or spend time with family.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love doughnuts?

Have I mentioned that I have a new job?

(Now I have)

Can I tell you that both of these things come together nicely now?

(No I’m not working at Krispy Kreme)

(Or Dunkin’ Doughnuts)

(Nor Voodoo Doughnuts)

I have a new job but not a new office. Some people call it a promotion but I just call it a new job. Doesn’t a promotion imply that “the powers that be” offered you a job and you accepted? I applied for the position with no input from “the powers that be,” at least until they looked over my resume and offered me the job.

Anyway, to my point……

One of my coworkers always brings doughnuts & coffee to work. I’ve sat in the parking lot checking my email & watched him enter the building with it.

Now if you know about my love affair with doughnuts you know that some days I sat at my workstation wondering where the hell the doughnuts went.

Now that I have my new job I know where the doughnuts went, one of which ALWAYS manages to make a nice home for itself in my stomach.

My love of doughnuts is deep.

Deep enough that I’ve driven almost an hour to get my hands on just one, then walking out the door with a 12.

It’s deep enough that learning a Dunkin’ Doughnuts Chocolate Frosted Doughnut, which happens to be identical to the same doughnut I consumed the previous Saturday, is 230 calories does not deter my love for them.

After all I don’t eat breakfast sandwiches, both Panera & Pizza Hut are quite a distance away, I need to be seriously craving a cinnamon roll to eat one, I don’t eat burgers, I don’t think I’ve ever been to Au Bon Pain, although I do LOVE fries I don’t eat them often, I can’t tell you where a Häagen-Dazs is, and Taco Bell makes me ill.

However I do think I’ll be running around, literally, more often, even though I could use a few more pounds on me.

Besides I do REALLY love doughnuts, almost as much as waffles, but that’s a story for a different day.

So maybe this was just one of my favorite things

Have you ever had one of those days where even the most inspirational thing you can find sends you into a depressive fit? You know the kind of fit that makes you want to not only scream and cry but also fling yourself to the floor and pound your fists in defeat. The kind of fit you would most certainly have but you just don’t have the energy to be even more emotionally draining on yourself so you keep going, all the while having this most impressive depressive fit on the inside.

When you know you’re doing the best you can yet you still feel like such a failure, a source of inspiration can indeed have the exact opposite effect on you. It’s like having a happy moment turn into a sad one faster than you can blink. Those moments when you start out laughing and by the time you’re done, crying.

I can change the world
With my own two hands
Make it a better place
With my own two hands
Make it a kinder place
with my own two hands
with my own, with my own two hands
I can make peace on earth
With my own two hands
I can clean up the earth
With my own two hands
I can reach out to you
With my own two hands
With my own, with my own two hands
With my own, with my own two hands
I’m gonan make it a brighter place
With my own two hands
I’m gonna make it a safer place
With my own two hands
I’m gonna help the human race
With my own two hands
With my own, with my own two hands
With my own, with my own two hands
I can hold you
In my own two hands
And I can comfort you
With my own two hands
But you’ve got to use, use your own two hands
Use your own, use your own two hands
Use your own, use your own two hands
With our own, our own two hands
With our own, our own two hands
In my own, in my own two hands
-My Own Two Hands

(My newest favorite people)