of this blog is……uncertain at the very least (and most, is that possible?)

If you were here yesterday than you know all about the perfect storm that’s caused me to really think about everything in my life; if you don’t know then just read the post and come back here when you’re finished.

This post might seem like a hodgepodge but it’s really more segmented but all about the same topic. My perfect storm involved many things but they all have one thing in common. Me.

Remember when I said I wanted to cut the fat from my life?

How about when I voiced my observations on what I came to call The Twitter Bug?

And asking the newest age old question, “To Facebook Or Not To Facebook”?

After being contacted by a friend last week I was sent into a reevaluation of my life & how I interact with people. You see this friend and I had a falling out years ago. I’ve talked to her occasionally since then but not much past the depth of “How’s the weather?” from my end of the relationship. Why? Because I was burned.

Let me tell you something about me, you will not burn me and leave me hanging in the breeze without a care from you and then come back into my life acting like nothing has ever changed between us. It will not happen. It does not happen.

Do I wish I had more contact with friends? Yes. But I will not take back anybody just based on the fact that they’re from friends past.

People are coming back into my life but they’re the wrong people.

Why is this happening to me?

Why I am attracting the wrong people?

I have to be honest here, I’m not exactly sure why, but not having the follow through on my desires has something to do with it. So I’m starting to follow through.

The fat is being cut, the Twitter Bug has been exterminated from my life, Facebook is a distant memory. Deleting is happening on all fronts.

This is even affecting my place in the blog world & how I wish to continue on.

You’ve probably noticed that I’ve changed the sidebar of my blog a little (O.K. a lot). This seems to be at the center of my focus of how I wish to reveal myself to the blog world. I don’t want to be “cheep” or a comment seeker or anything else along those lines.

The best way I can describe it is I remember reading Stonefox’s post when she decided to remove the followers function off her blog. I thought it was brave (and equally ridiculous) at the time. Now I find it admirable and an example to follow, and take things a step (or a few steps) further.

I desire to be more intentional in my actions. So if that requires me to strip down in some areas than that’s what I need to do. I need to remove noise from my life to really listen, and not just hear, what I’m meant to listen to.

I desire to be genuine. To not use Facebook or any other form of online communication (email being the exception) as my only way of communicating with others, especially people I know outside of the blog world.

Most importantly I desire space. I need space. I need head space, emotional space; I even desire more physical space. I’m feeling invaded in many aspects. In this world of constant communication & openness as a result I’m constantly feeling the need to retreat & being plagued with questions of an individuals genuineness just as often. The constant flow of information has become too much for me to the point where I’m missing out on important events in people’s lives in some way (mostly emotionally), just call it techno burnout.

I don’t know what this means for the future of my blog. I’m learning as I go. As much as I desire personal space and the need to be more real I do value each friend I’ve made thanks to the blog world. I enjoy writing and sharing my thoughts with others. The desire to make the world a better place with my blog has not changed. But how to go about that has so the winds of change are coming through.

There won’t be a blogroll on my blog (at least for now). If I read something I’d like to share or it inspires my own post I’ll write about it and link it in a post.

The about section may be back. That’s the one feature I’m really concentrating on with how to continue on with blogging.

The same goes for the prayer requests page; although that will be back in another capacity at the least.

As much as I enjoy interacting with readers through comments, so please don’t stop reading or commenting, I’m considering taking the recent comments wiget off the sidebar.

Most importantly I’m going to stop putting pressure on myself to post every day. If it happens it happens if not that’s O.K. If I end up leaving for an extended period of time without announcement feel free to comment to let me know people are still reading because there’s a good chance I’ve unintentionally forgotten to post.

Even though the future is uncertain don’t take this to mean that I wish for people to stop reading and connecting with me. That’s the opposite of what my intention is. I want to connect with people, I just want to make it more meaningful.

I should thank Anne Jackson for planting an additional seed for making this hopeful transformation possible.