I guess I was serious when I said I’d take breaks from writing from now on. I’ve tried to write on several occasions but everything I ended up writing ended up being deleted shortly after.

Last week was unusually difficult for me. After finalizing plans I was struggling with knowing whether I was doing the right thing or not, and I got incredibly ill. So ill in fact that I almost canceled my plans for days later making the assumption that I would never be able to feel better by then.

I really believe I was being attacked spiritually. I know it doesn’t make sense but it’s the only thing that does make sense as well, because after spending time in prayer, for lack of knowing what else to do, I felt better and haven’t felt that horrible since.

I was blessed enough to get the opportunity to make a retreat this past weekend (thanks to the persistence and hospitality of Sisters). Who would’ve thought that I live about an hour from an amazing retreat center?

I was able to have a few days to do what I really needed to do, spend much needed time reconnecting and rediscovering the Lord as well as have some quiet to find some peace (or at least try to).

I was given the opportunity to reconnect with the girl I was in college, just 3 years ago. The girl that celebrated Mass every day, or at least made an effort to. The girl that was excited to sit and adore the Lord for an hour, or more, when asked, and sometimes not. The girl that took part in morning and night prayer even when she didn’t completely understand it, and even though she still doesn’t. The girl that found Jesus in everything, or put the effort into trying to.

It was amazing.

I’ve caught myself missing that girl in the recent years, especially lately.

Although I had no idea how much I missed that girl, until this weekend.

I’ve been to the mountain top of spiritual foundation and I’ve, unknowingly, climbed back down.

It’s time to climb the mountain again.

Not try to.

Just climb.

The Lord is there at the top waiting for me.

So that’s where I need to go.

It’s where I need to be.

This weekend was full of major gifts straight from Heaven.

I walked into a house wanting to visit a friend & the Lord.

I walked out of the same house knowing a family I never knew I had.

It’s time to stop looking the gift horse in the mouth.

“To whom much is given, much is expected.”

The Lord expects much from me.

It’s time to honor His gifts and live up to His expectations.

If He expects it, I owe it to Him and to myself to expect the same from myself.

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Did you know this year is the Year Of The Priest? So from the Feast Of The Sacred Heart of Jesus, June 19, 2009 until June 19, 2010 take time to Praise God for the priests and other Spiritual Fathers in your life.