For those of you that need proof that it does in fact pay to leave comments on someone’s blog, even if it does take a while to get around to addressing them.
“Would love to hear someday about the time of your life that you didn’t believe in God.”
There was a time long ago and far away that I didn’t believe in God.
There was no higher power.
You were born, you lived, and then you died.
Anyone who told me differently was wrong and totally not worth anymore of my time.
The only exception was family members. They were raised differently. They were doing it to honor someone else. They were from a different time. They were too old to think differently, even if they were wrong.
I knew better than anyone else who thought anything else.
I was 11.
Ironically I had recently begun my Catholic school education.
I was bulled & outcast by my classmates.
That played a part in my change in mindset, obviously, but not the whole story.
To be honest I don’t think I remember the whole story.
Instead I just remember bits and pieces.
Like when things don’t go how you thought they would you assume God isn’t there.
Because there is no God.
Who remembers being 11?
And the entire period of your life until 17.
So let’s just say it was a number of events.
Which led to a pile of baggage.
That I’m still working on letting go of.
Here’s the thing about my baggage….
Just when I think it’s gone, it comes back.
Like a sinus infection.
Yup, the after effects of the dark night of my soul are pretty gross,
Not to mention uncomfortable.
Around 17 I thought I could be wrong about the “born, live, die” philosophy.
As in might, possibly, small chance.
So I did some research.
Find a faith and I’ve probably looked into it.
I’ve got a library’s worth of books on faith and spirituality.
Because the best way to discover faith is to read a book……
Have you ever heard the joke that Catholicism can be a faith conversion or an intellectual one?
Put one in the “win” column for intellectuals.
Or at least as intellectual as I could get at 19.
Because 17 though 19 was another journey.
As was 19 through 22.
Even today its journey all its own.
Because of the baggage.
Because of who I am today.
Who I’ll be tomorrow.
There once was a time when I didn’t believe in God.
I was young and dumb and knew no better.