Twelve Lessons Learned In 2012

Wrapping up a year of your blog in one post is difficult. I don’t particularly like doing it but I like a challenge. I didn’t want to do a repeat or another list of goals.

Ask For Help If You Think You Need It: In October I started a business, more on that later. As I’ve been going through the process I’ve learned (more) about asking for help. I’ve been blessed to have people I can ask for advice.

Stop Waiting For Something & DO Something: While I’ve been waiting to hear about potential full time employment I wished I could just work for myself, it’s harder in some ways but easier in others. I’m tired of waiting for things to happen so I’m going to make something happen for myself.

There Is Never A Good Time To Lose A Loved One: During the last few years that my aunt was sick I stopped planning my life. I’ve never been that good at it anyway but the prospect of losing her became real. I became an expert in dodging people wanting to nail down plans too far in advance. Even thought I did all that lack of planning I was still caught off guard the day she died.

Grief Has Many Faces: 2012 was the first year I attended more than 2 funerals in a 12 month period . It hardly makes me an expert in the grief process but I have learned a lot about how I grieve; mainly that I can’t predict how I’ll grieve so I can’t predict how it will work for others.

Always Be Ready: I spent the summer working on my resume. Before I left for Chicago my mom suggested I take a few copies with me, just in case. Days after my trip I was in the ER and without the paperwork I usually bring with me to doctor’s visits. After I printed my business cards I decided it would be a good idea to carry a few with me at all times, as I also do with my resume and medical paperwork these days

Disabilities Are Really Abilities In Disguise: While I was talking to my aunt, a special education teacher, I mentioned that I have ADD. What followed was a deep conversation about the assets of having a “disability.” There are times when having a disability is a pain in the ass, but it has benefits at times.

You Are Responsible For Your Own Happiness: This sounds pretty basic but it takes most people, myself included, a while to realize it and/or something pretty drastic has to happen. I’ve spent a lot of time blaming others for why I wasn’t happy and how it was their fault that my life wasn’t the best it could be. If it’s about you, you are responsible for it, don’t look outside yourself.

Sometimes It’s Good To Break The Rules: Rules are there for a reason, but that doesn’t mean they have to be followed all the time. If I hadn’t broken a travel rule I made for myself I would’ve missed out on prime family time, even if it meant going to Michigan first

Purging Isn’t Always Bad: Simple living isn’t something you master; it’s a lifestyle you have to practice. If I really need something I’ll use it. If not I can get rid of it, or I’m learning to. This year I’ve found that I’ve gotten increasingly jealous of people who have moved, the main reason being because they’ve been forced to simplify for an easier move.

Age Is Just A Number: If you’ve ever seen When Harry Met Sally you know about the scene where Meg Ryan in a fit of sobs says, “And I’m going to be 40!” To which Billy Crystal replies, “In eight years.” I’ve had more than my share of these moments. I never look forward to getting old, that is until I attended a CP conference where I heard it’s expected that I’ll have a shorted lifespan than the average population. I’m not sure why I was surprised but it changed the way I look at aging and how I’ll age. It’s just a number, how I feel is most important.

One Event Shouldn’t Come To Define A Life: The shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary has thrown me for a loop, as it did for most people. Seeing people and places I know all over the news on a global level is a lot to bear. I’ve tried really hard not to define the shooter as “another nut with too many guns” and it’s been a challenge. I don’t want Newtown, Sandy Hook, the first responders, the troopers, the survivors, or the victims to be defined by one day. I’ve realized the same respect should be given to the shooter, although I won’t be saying his name anytime soon.

True Self Acceptance Doesn’t Happen Just Once: I had (finally) accepted myself sometime after my last surgery. Things weren’t all wine and roses then but I accepted all of myself as is. This year I’ve found myself doing the same thing (and sometimes just trying to) this year.

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