BADD ’13: Is There Internal Prejudice?

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Today is Blogging Against Disablism Day If you want to know more about Blogging Against Disablism Day visit Diary Of A Goldfish. She outlines it better than I ever could, since she founded it and all.

I’m something of a BADD veteran; I say that with the only qualification being that I couldn’t remember how many years I’ve participated until I looked it up.

I think there’s an assumption that the disability community is one of the most accepting communities out there. I’m not saying that it’s a correct assumption or not since it’s impossible to judge such a thing. I just think it’s an interesting assumption. I wonder where it comes from, the reasons behind it and such.

Maybe people think it’s because most people with a lifelong disability were teased at some point and that’s what makes them more accepting, you know, because others haven’t been of them, or something.

Earlier this year someone gave me the idea that others (in the disability community) might see me as a faker because I use a wheelchair.

I thought this was a strange statement. I had never considered the possibility, even though it probably has happened, at least once. Even though I never considered this before I’ve put a lot of thought into it now. I’m not saying it’s been in the forefront of my mind for months but it’s been a passing thought (more than once).

 It’s not that I’m oblivious to the idea that I’m judged based on my abilities and/or disabilities. In fact I know it’s going to happen, so much so that I brought it up in a job interview.

I don’t remember what the question was, or even my full answer, but I remember saying that there have been times that I’ve been seen as “not disabled enough” and how I thought that was a form of prejudice.

Then I waited to for the interviewer to hang up the phone, thus ending the interview. Actually I thought about hanging up the phone myself to save myself the embarrassment, or even worse, more questions (especially ones that could result in a bad interview & then not getting a position I really wanted).

I think it’s a common problem of Cerebral Palsy (although I could be wrong). Cerebral Palsy is an umbrella condition, meaning it varies in severity. I wasn’t able to get a wheelchair of my own until insurance requirements changed. The rational was, “she can walk, so she doesn’t need a wheelchair.” Never mind that CP causes muscle fatigue and assistive devices, like a wheelchair, can help with that.

I’m no stranger to prejudice. I think that goes for anyone who considers themselves to be part of the disability community. That’s not what I want to explore. Been there done that. But are there ever internal prejudices within the community, as there are in the “outside” world?

If I was going to think this though, which I’m not sure I have that’s why I’m putting out there on the internet, I’d have to start with myself. Do I judge people? Do I have prejudices? Of course I do; to put it very simply. (I admit shamefully)

As much as I say I’d rather focus on abilities than disabilities it’s largely with people that I know and in controlled situations. Someone walking or even rolling down the street? That’s often another story.

I’m not sure when or how it turned into judgment, but somewhere along the line it did. All I really wanted to do was know a person’s story, but was never brave enough to ask. (Or at least that’s what I told myself.)

In an attempt to defend myself I’m going to tell you that this doesn’t stay within the disability community. It happens with everyone I pass on the street or see on a daily basis. I’m a non discriminating judger of people.

Now that I’ve caught myself (and called myself out) on it I’m going to be more mindful of my actions, known and unknown to those around me.

What do you think? Does the disability community have internal prejudices?

For more BADD posts visit Diary of A Goldfish, The BADD Facebook Page, or BADD on Twitter.

Sharing Is Caring

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I’m participating in WEGO Health’s Health Activist Writer’s Month.

Today is guest post swap day so you can find my post at Just Me And My Frugal Kitchen

My swap partner & I asked each other to write on one of the suggested topics, and as luck would have it we picked the same one.

“Write a guide to your condition for those who aren’t in it every day – what do you want them to know? What myth do you want to dispel?”

So if you’d like to see my answer head over to Jacqui’s.

This is Jacqui’s post:

Hi Sarah’s blog reader’s! My name is Jacqui and I blog over at Just me and my frugal kitchen. Sarah and I are doing a blog exchange as part of the #HAWMC . We decided to share a little bit about ourselves and are conditions. My condition is sciatic nerve pain and damage. I had back surgery in 2001 and although the pain went away at the time, I was left with scar tissue that has now started to cause problems some days/weeks/months. About a year ago, after my daughter was born, the pain began to come back. I thought I would again need surgery and put off a trip to the doctor’s. Let me tell you sciatic pain is no joke, do not do what I did and not go to the doctor. He told me if I would have gone sooner it would have most likely not gotten as bad…lesson learned.

What I have learned about living with my pain is that I actually need to exercise and stretch more. When the pain first started I stopped working out as much and that was actually doing more damage than good for me. Something I did not realize until I was doing physical therapy. Now with a regular exercise and stretching plan, I have been able to go most days pain free!

Now I also don’t want you to think that exercise and stretching with solve the problem if you have sciatic pain (it might if you treat it right away!). If you let your pain and inflammation get too intense you might have to have some help getting rid of it. In my case the muscles in my leg and butt where so tight that I actually had to try acupuncture to treat the issues (nothing else was working). Personally I did not think that would help either, but after the first session I had a day of NO PAIN! It was like a miracle, the pain did return, but never got worse and after a few months of treatment I am down to 1 session a month (more because I enjoy it now) and very little to no pain. Acupuncture is believed to treat a number of conditions and I would say if you have not tried it and want to, it is worth the time in my opinion. Also check with your insurance company, in many cases they will cover the cost minus your co pay.

I think the one thing that I would really like to help people understand is that sciatic pain can be very serious and not something that you should ignore. It was nice to get to “meet” you all and I hope you stop over at my blog sometime.

If you want to find out more about Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge visit their blog, Facebook, Twitter.

Spreading The Love

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I’m participating in WEGO Health’s Health Activist Writer’s Month.

Part of the reason why I wanted to participate in HAWMC this year was to establish myself as a health activist, or try to.

When you first start writing seriously you tend to look for others in your situation, or at least that’s what I did. When you don’t find any, or at least what you were looking for, you start looking at other health blogs for a “similar enough” community to try to emulate.

I found myself reading a lot of CF blogs, and learning a lot from them. I didn’t find everything missing from the CP community that I had been looking for but close enough. I wanted to connect with people in the CF community to see what I could learn and bring to the CP community.

For example: the issue(s) of transitioning from pediatric to adult care since CP & CF are both lifelong conditions that involve transitions.

It didn’t take long before I found Run Sickboy Run. It seemed like every CF blog mentioned Ronnie at least once. Clearly he was good at whatever he was doing.

I’ve been able to learn a lot about self advocacy as well as blogging in general from Ronnie. If I can have a quarter of the impact on the CP community that Ronnie’s had on the CF community than I’ll consider it a success; because I don’t think I can even come close to what he’s done (like creating a social network for the CF community).

He’s also been kind enough to respond to my comments for him & leave his own for me. It’s truly something that makes a small time blogger happy. He’s also been nice enough to share his knowledge with me when one of my doctors brought up the possibility pulmonary function testing.

It’s from getting to know Ronnie though his blog (& guest posts by other CF patients) that I’ve found the type of community that people with CP should be a part of. In fact I’ve been suggesting to the professions since I started reading CF blogs that we should look to the CF community as a model for medical treatment; and believe it or not someone brought up the same idea at a CP conference last year.

Simply put, thanks Ronnie for all you do.

I also have to thank Christina of Stick With It Sugar. As I was reading the suggested prompts for HAWMC I saw that people suggested many of them. I had received an email looking for topic suggestions but I never responded (I figured, what were the chances). I wanted to visit the sites of people who had made suggestions for inspiration before getting started. She was one of the first of my non usual visitors to reach out to me when I started this whole thing; something I always appreciate.

If you want to find out more about Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge visit their blog, Facebook, Twitter.

Why I: Sponsor

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I was sitting in front of my computer contemplating what to do with my new found wealth. I hadn’t hit the lottery, at least not in the traditional sense. I had made the final payment on my student loans.

What would be the best way to spend my “excess”? I wasn’t in a glowing financial situation but I wasn’t hurting for money either. What would be the best way to manage what I’d come to consider extra money?

I decided to sponsor a child. I was trying to decide who the child would be. I had a few requirements for; whoever they were they had to be an older child with Cerebral Palsy. Then I looked at pictures until one “spoke to me.” It didn’t happen.

Instead two SCREAMED at me.

I set it aside for a day; maybe things would be clearer tomorrow, then two, then three. I looked at every profile I could find again, and some new ones. I considered the possibility of sponsoring two children.

God said, “No.”

It was much quieter than the scream, but still clear. I couldn’t take on two children, not for the long term.

I had to choose.

I wanted to sponsor an older child with Cerebral Palsy because I know what they face. At least I could in a sense. I’ve never been abandoned. I’ve always known the love of a family. Most people don’t want to adopt older kids. They’re more work. They can come with additional issues. They’re not as cute or have that certain smell, at least not in the same way that new babies do.

Cerebral Palsy is often seen as a “kid” condition. Some doctors never see someone over the age of 15 with Cerebral Palsy in their entire career, and those that do often turn them away at the door. They just don’t know what to do. Or they don’t want to do anything. They’re more work. They have compounding issues that come with age, and even sooner than the average population. They’re just too old to be fixed. They probably can’t even be helped. So why bother?

An older orphan with Cerebral Palsy? It’s not a deck that’s stacked in their favor.

I couldn’t choose.

I asked a friend for some insight. It’s what you do when you have a hard decision to make and you’ve known someone for decades.

“It’s a hard choice. But choose that one. Someone will come for the other one.”

It’s what my heart had been trying to tell me the whole time.

I became a sponsor.

The best part is; this isn’t even the best part.

Someone did come for the other child.

First a sponsor.

Then a family.

I’m telling you this because today Cerebral Palsy Awareness Day in the United States. Cerebral Palsy is known on all continents, in all countries, so greater awareness shouldn’t be limited to one area of the world.

I’m also telling you this because there needs to be greater awareness of lifelong conditions, including but not limited to Cerebral Palsy.

I’m telling you this because I want more children to be like the child I didn’t sponsor; I want someone to come for the others.

Brad has a family waiting to bring him home. However if his adoption can not be completed by July he won’t have a family to call his own at all.

An Orphans Wish

Help Brad’s family give him a home forever. And one less child with a lifelong condition won’t become another forgotten adult.

*So the title was meant to have a placebo effect. I know it was underhanded, but it got you to read it, didn’t it.

Orphan Sunday

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is tomorrow (November 4th)

Although I’ve been sponsoring a child for a while now Orphan Sunday is a pretty new idea to me. As a general rule I’m not the biggest fan of single event days or awareness months because I feel it gives some people permission to forget about other people’s problems for the majority of the year.

However I do stand behind the idea that focusing on something for one day (or longer) just might create enough of a spark within someone that something sticks and a life (or more) changes.

I had a plan for this post, but that was before Sandy (more on that later), so things won’t go as I planned.

For each “like” on An Orphan’s Wish Facebook page $1 will be donated to help support the kids at the House Of Love.

If you’ve ever considered child sponsorship, what are you waiting for? Sponsoring a child will change your life (just as much as it changes the child’s).

If you want to make a one time donation that’s also an option.

Shameless Plug Alert: Jill, the child I sponsor, celebrates her birthday this month. If you’d like to help make her birthday extra special, I won’t complain.

Adoption Related Blogs
A Place Called Simplicity
Fireworks & Fireflies
Ni Hao Y’all
Layers Of Life
Breezy Acres Farm

*Pictures used in this post were borrowed from the An Orphan’s Wish blog.