Thirteen Things I Like In “Alphabetical Order”
(so there’s a part 2 naturally)

1. Alpine Touch

2. Bon Jovi

3. Coldplay

4. Drives

5. Enation

6. Fires (as in camp fires)

7. God’s Grace

8. Hershey bars

9. Idaho

10. Jesus

11. Krispy Kremes

12. Laughing

13. Music

N-Z coming soon….

Otherwise known as a hybrid of Make A Difference Monday & Music Monday

Meet Flame:

“FLAME, a group from upstate New York made up of 11 people with developmental/physical disabilities, including autism, Down’s syndrome, mental retardation and blindness, is capturing the world’s attention but their message remains the same. The band from Lexington Center, Fulton County Chapter, NYSARC, Inc., wants to change the world through music. They are a phenomenon that inspires people and changes the way the general public view people with disabilities. People of all ages and backgrounds connect with this special rock band, especially those who have a disability. Parents are often overcome with emotion watching FLAME, seeing that it’s possible to have their child achieve great things and, even more importantly, have a fun, fulfilling life.

FLAME began in 2003 from a recreation program at Lexington. The plan was to have the band play at the agency and around town. However the profound effect they have on their audiences made it impossible to keep FLAME within the confines of Fulton County. Word spread and requests for hire began pouring in and FLAME now averages over 90 paid performances per year, including concerts in 10 different states and in Europe. They perform for national and statewide conventions, corporate conferences, civic events, school functions, dances, and private parties. Their song list contains over 100 classic hit rock, country and blues songs from the past five decades.

FLAME is now an international touring band in high demand. They have released 3 CDs, travel on a custom tour bus, and have recently signed a film deal with a Washington DC documentary film company, who want to tell Flame’s story to the world.”
– from the FLAME website

I’m updating an old meme titled Getting To Know Me Christmas Style

1.Wrapping paper or gift bags?
-Bags. I’m gift wrap challenged.

2. Real tree or Artificial?
-Real, but I may need to go artificial once I’m “on my own”

3. When do you put up the tree?
-I already have it but it’ll come in the house sometime this week, whenever mom decides to carry it in.

4. When do you take the tree down?
-As soon as Christmas is over in my opinion, but it’s up to my mom this year

5. Do you like egg nog?
-Not really

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
-Pajama pants, and I was closer to 20……

7. Hardest person to buy for?
-Pretty much everyone this year

8. Easiest person to buy for?
-My dad

9. Do you have a nativity scene?
-Yes, with a deaf donkey.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?
-Both, although I don’t really like Christmas cards, well most cards

11.Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
-I can’t pick just one!

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
-Love Actually

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
-Whenever I see something someone would like

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
-Yes. (Hasn’t everybody?)

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
-Lasagna

16. Lights on the tree?
-Yes

17. Favorite Christmas song?

18.Travel at Christmas or stay Home?
-Travel

19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer?
-Yes

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
-The tree’s too small for anything, besides the angel is broken and we haven’t replaced it

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
-Both

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?
-Everything that makes a great memory after the fact & that Christmas music starts in OCTOBER

23. Favorite ornament theme or color?
-My Oscar Meyer Wiener Ornament

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner?
-Lasagna, turkey is for Thanksgiving, lasagna is for Christmas

25. What do you want for Christmas this year?
-To be walking by Christmas would be awesome, but way optimistic

26. Who is most likely to respond to this?
- Katey(?)

27. Who is least likely to respond to this?
-Amanda, people rarely do the same memes more than once (but I do obviously)

28, Favorite thing about Christmas?
-Christmas Octave It’s 8 days of Christmas. How could you possibly go wrong?

…..a year makes

So for some reason my mom and I are trying to construct a timeline. You see it’s warm here for this time of year, which is so unlike last year. In fact when we think of this time of year last year freeeeezing temperatures come to mind; which takes us to the constructing a timeline part. It’s one of those, “one thing led to another” scenarios.

Which made me think of this blog.

Before thanksgiving last year I was headed to Boston for my first appointment, with Dr. K afterwards I wrote this post:

All I Want For Christmas
From November 28, 2008

isn’t my 2 front teeth.

“What do you want for Christmas?”

If your family is anything like mine that question starts circling around in November, sometimes October, and intensifies as Christmas gets closer and closer. If you’re in my family and your birthday is right before or during that time between Christmas and St. Patrick’s day the question has some extra weight, “What do you want for Christmas?” really means, what do you want for Christmas & your birthday (one stop shopping & usually on sale). As a kid I interpreted this to mean that I would get everything I wanted. What the surprise would be was whether it showed up under the Christmas tree or after my birthday cake. Therefore my “Christmas List” was pages long, and typed, once we owned a computer. It took me years before I realized that I never got everything on my list no matter how close my birthday was to Christmas. Since then I’ve shortened the list quite considerably. It’s that old quality vs. quantity debate that I’m sure everyone goes through every holiday season.

I started thinking about what I’d want for Christmas while I was preparing to leave Washington. I guess it was something to look forward to, a refocus. I was also looking forward to a mini rebellion against service life. There’s only so long someone can go with out a home computer, a load of VHS tapes (many of them inappropriate), and a red wall phone showing signs of wear. My first thoughts of Christmas gifts were new, shiny, fun, useful, and EXPENSIVE. But I had a reason for choosing every one, other than I really do deserve to be showered with gifts at every possible opportunity.

Last Christmas was like no other. I’ll write about it at a later date, probably on or around Christmas this year, but for now let’s just say this, it was the first Christmas in my life when I was not with family. The first Christmas I broke tradition. My Christmas gifts were sent to me before hand and placed them under the tree and waited until Christmas Eve to open each one. The house wasn’t going to be together on Christmas, I was the only one with the day off, so I broke another tradition and opened all gifts Christmas Eve instead of Christmas Day. Last year I got everything I asked for in terms of material items and I actually needed every one of them, well except one. It was truly a special Christmas season.

This Christmas will, again, be like no other. I’m struggling to come up with things I should ask for. When Oprah showed off the Kindle on her show I found the first gift I really “had to have.” I’ve been known to read more books per week than there are days of the week so it would pretty much pay for itself and pretty quickly. Plus I have an iPod for all of my music so why shouldn’t I have a Kindle for my books? It only makes sense that I have one. A few weeks later I decided I didn’t really need a Kindle so I didn’t “have to have” it after all.

My mom called me from work the other day to tell me that someone she knows from the hospital has a Kindle. I should thank whoever this person is because I think they pretty much convinced my mom it was a worthy investment. I was well on my way to becoming the proud owner of a Kindle, well I was.

“Now that I’ve thought about it I don’t really want one of those. I don’t really need it either. I don’t really need any stuff. What I really want you can’t buy. So what’s the point of buying me stuff?”
Yeah, I said that, well at least something close to it.
Should I also tell you I was almost crying by the end of it? I guess I just did.

Let’s face it I’m not much for gifts anymore, at least not the material sort. I still have gift cards from last Christmas that I haven’t used, the same goes for my birthday. So do I really need more of what I haven’t already used? No.
(Maybe I should start some giveaways)
I still have too many gift cards than I know what to do with, literally. I found one in my wallet last week while waiting for my CT scan. I have no idea how it got in there. It just goes to show that putting it away for safe keeping translates to hide (no so) well enough that I forget about it.

I’d like to attribute this major change to being “Ruined for Life” and being awakened to some of what life is really about. However I think that would be putting too much credit where it doesn’t belong. It might be why I still have gift cards from last year and it’s probably why I’ve put so much thought into my wish list this year. But that’s where it pretty much ends, I think.

Remember that off hand comment I made before leaving the hospital in Boston?
That’s the rest of it.
What I want you can’t buy.

If I could rewind my life by 4 months yes I would still want a Kindle, a new iPod, a new laptop, maybe a set of cleats, or a hat that reminds me of little JS.
Four months ago I wanted stuff.

Fast-forward to today. I do need a new laptop, mine is 6 years old & on its second hard drive & a drive. Gremlins & computer bugs have taken my iPod hostage, so I guess I could use a new one. I did loose a cleat, but they weren’t even mine to begin with. I have a drawer full of hats I don’t even wear (you love shoes, I love hats). I don’t need a Kindle because even though I’ve been known to read more than 7 books in a week, I haven’t read a book in over a month.

What I want you can’t buy.
I want to travel.
I want to discover.
I want a career.
I want to live on my own.
I want a home.
I want a community.
I want to be happy.
I want to achieve.
That’s what I want.

To get what I want, at least have the best chance at it, I need something.
I need the help of modern medicine.
I need treatment and intervention.

All I want for Christmas money can not buy,
but the skill of (wo)man can give me the chance.

What do I want for Christmas this year?

In terms of material things I haven’t been paying enough attention to make a list, or even come up with one thing. There are things I would like but it’s nowhere close to, “I’d LOVE to get this for Christmas!” or even, “I’ll ask for this for Christmas.”

To be honest I feel I’ve already had my Christmas. It wasn’t full of tress, decorations, family, food, snow, songs, and all that other good stuff. But it was one of the best gifts ever. How could I possibly ask for stuff and expect it to measure up?

Yesterday really wasn’t about much else

I’m just a day away from another important day in my recovery. It’s a day, and now the new “the day,” in my life, everyone knows about it, asks about it, encourages me about it (at least tries), and talks about it in casual conversation. It’s a big day for me and I’ve been hopeful for so long but I have to be honest I’m feeling a little like Thomas lately:

Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!”

Jesus did many other miraculous signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book. But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.
-John 20:24-31 (NIV)

Yeah that Thomas.

My recovery is going well. No doubts about that. You don’t manage to make 3 PTs and various others bored if things aren’t going well. But are things going too well?

I still can’t sleep through the night with my night splint. Thanks to the straps being right on top of fresh scar tissue, no matter how much padding is on each strap and various sock material experiments. But I wear it way too often during the day in an attempt to make up for the lost hours. Sleep is more important than a corrected foot, isn’t it?

The bump on the inside of my right foot isn’t there anymore. Instead it’s been replaced by a very sensitive area of my foot which will heal as my foot gets used to being in its new position. (I think)

I have an AFO clinic appointment for Monday to be casted for a new AFO. I may be jumping the gun but I wanted to make sure I had a spot assuming everything is going according to the plan; although I still have ankle swelling. I’m just tired of waiting for it to go away. So if it creates a problem I’m leaving that for Dave to handle. It’s his job. I’ve done my job (tying to make it go away). I should leave him room to do his. Right?

Other than that I’m awesome.

But what will the x-rays tell?

My last x-rays looked “perfect,” exactly what that meant I’m not sure I just heard the word and was relieved.

What will they say this time?

Will I be healed enough to start the next leg of the journey?

Does the new ankle pain mean one of the screws slipped?

Is the plate out of place?

Is the pain in my thighs a bad sign?

Or is it just the pain of progress?

All this good progress is causing me to doubt myself.

Obviously I could use a few extra prayers today & tomorrow, so if you wouldn’t mind saying one on my behalf that would be the best.

I’ll share any news as soon as I’m able to.

Jesus turned and saw her. “Take heart, daughter, ”He said, “your faith has healed you.” And the woman was healed from that moment.- Matthew 9:22

As in dreading having to do this again.

In case you can’t tell what that is it’s a picture of a frog; which is what I’ll be doing in a radiology suite this week.

More specifically I will be “frogging” in order to provide a certain someone(s) a Frog Film (well now it’s on computer so I don’t know what the term is anymore). For as long as I’ve been “frogging” I’m not sure I can do it anymore; hardware permanently holding your joints together does that you know, and I do have a fair share of it.

All things considered. Is anyone surprised which side I’m taking this year? (And probably for years afterwards)

It’s no secret that Fridays have been the most difficult day of the week for me in the last few years. When discussing my pain level with various medical professionals I always made a point to stress that by Friday I was, well, fried.

Today is no different. I woke up feeling cruddy, almost as if I’m coming down with something. Friday is my self imposed day off for this very purpose (however I will be returning to my full schedule at work soon enough which will include Fridays). By Friday I just need a break, so I take it. No harm. No foul. And yes you can bet it’s the one day of the week that I still feel truly post-surgical.

My worst day in the hospital? It was a Friday.

It was my first day post-op. I was so overwhelmed, confused, relieved, uncomfortable, happy, you name it. The only way I knew it was a Friday was because I knew surgery was on a Thursday and it was the next day, therefore it was Friday. Anyone that’s had life changing surgery will tell you the first day post-op is unlike any other day in the hospital. Your body’s trying to hold up a pile of snow trying to prevent an avalanche that could happen at any second, if you can’t hold all the snow in place.

Once PT started Friday needed to be my day off. For one thing my body hadn’t moved in three weeks (or more?). I also hadn’t had PT 2 days in a row (or more) since the 80s, yes I said 80s, so my already reeling brain needed to adjust, not to mention heal.

I happened to be reading My Stroke Of Insight during the small window of time I could actually read in bed without falling asleep, a period of time which I think lasted 2 weeks. One of the things the book stressed was the power of sleep for healing. So I slept, and healed.

Today is different. I woke up to a text message (received hours before) from my cousin with the latest family news. Then later remembering what significance today has in my family. I can’t help but smile. I can’t help but to be happy.

I’m happy.

For the past year my life has been on hold. My body went first. Then my brain followed. Correction, I let my brain follow. (Shame on me)

Everything became all about me.
(only child syndrome, and family “baby” treatment aside)

I stayed connected to life around me, or so I thought, but I wasn’t all that into it. Everything seemed so shallow and fake. I just couldn’t handle much without breaking down and feeling left out in some way. I rarely let it show in the moment though. It’s one of the ways I’ve been able to put my B.A. to good use, I guess.

It’s Friday, and as usual, I’m fried. But I’m happy too.

For the first time in way too long I’ve been able to step outside myself and take a good look at the world that’s been going on around me for so long, and be happy about what I see.

Not only am I happy I’m happy for others. A part of the “old me” are returning; a part I hoped would return whether I recognized it or not.

Happy, hell, I’m practically ecstatic. I can’t believe so much good stuff is happening in my family right now. Have I mentioned I’m included in that “good family stuff” for once (in a LONG time)?

(I told you I had only child syndrome and family “baby” treatment)

Today I finally made it to my desktop to check some emails, ones I’ve been putting off looking at since there’s only so much you can do on a propel before you’re wishing you made that well overdue laptop purchase. I rarely read forwarded emails, especially if it looks like it’s reached everybody’s inbox before mine, but this one was different; and the fact that it came from my cousin made no difference, but that doesn’t mean I love her any less.

I have to admit it was a pretty funny email but what really got me was the last line:

“Life is short, break the rules, forgive sooner, love with true love, laugh without control and always keep smiling.
Maybe life is not the party that we were expecting, but in the mean time, we’re here and we can still dance…..” –Unknown