Thirteen Things I Miss About Being A Volunteer
1. Cereal in a bag.
2. Road trips
3. Low cost entertainment
4. No cable
5. Cleaning the house for the first time
6. Sitting in the backyard
7. Toilet paper discussions
8. Holidays
9. Needing to use the library
10. Cheap haircuts
11. One on ones
12. Random visits
13. Human kindness
Somebody wanted another story, and now that he’s back in Texas, and I’m out of songs about Texas, I need something. So here it is.
I almost quit two weeks into my service contract.
Packed my stuff & got-the-hell-out kind of quit.
That’s the short version.
The long one goes like this:
I had only been at my placement for a week (maybe two). I was still pretty green (all the kids still looked alike & roughly the same age). I had excellent care the first few days. I was led into things somewhat slowly. No one tried to overload me and even went out of the way to make sure it didn’t happen.
Still the first day I was left to oversee the front desk, something I could completely handle without issue, I almost quit.
I went home to the first of many house nights. I had fully intended to let my new “family” know I was going to make an exit. I figured they should be the first to know since I was already starting to feel this, “we’re in this together” sort of mentality. Maybe I wanted them to talk me out of it. I don’t really know what was going though my mind then.
I told everyone I had intended to quit, but I had changed my mind.
I vaguely told them the situation, for sake of a minor’s privacy. I don’t remember if anyone said anything. Had I been in there situation I would’ve been at a loss for words, because, “I’ll all work out and be O.K,” would have seemed like a useless social filler, not to mention really really stupid.
I didn’t sign up for what I was getting. It didn’t seem fair to anyone to keep up this charade because I didn’t want to be labeled “the quitter” Then again most people didn’t get to sign up for their life circumstances, so why should I be the one who gets an out?
Clearly I stayed.
Things got better, for everyone.
I still had days of struggling and wondering where my place was in the grand scheme of circumstances. But luckily for me when the next day(s) came around I had people to turn to. They weren’t the near strangers I sat with during those first days; instead they were “the family the Lord let me choose.”
Sometimes I wonder what have happened if I didn’t stick it out. The funny thing is nothing comes to mind, at all. So if I didn’t stick it out things probably would’ve gotten worse, at least for me.
More often though I wonder what wouldn’t have happened if I wasn’t there that day at the front desk. Would I have the same heart? Would some other situation have come along to produce the same results?
There’s value in persistence, even when everything in your being and everyone around you says to quit (just ask John).
As I’ve gotten older I’ve come to the realization, and somewhat rudely, that I’m the first and only, but hopefully not last, person with CP that many encounter. This is most shockingly including but not limited to the medical field.
It’s been an incredible responsibility, especially before coming to accept it.
For the last year or so I’ve been doing more than ever before, also known as doing something because I never did, to help people understand me, at least the CP parts.
I may have “ditched the traditional” routes but it’s not like they didn’t try and shove me out the door first, so I’m working with what I got. And it’s been pretty great. Actually I’ve had much more control over my care than I would’ve had if I stayed on the path I thought was the right one.
“Ditching the traditional” pretty much means I have to be an open book. Not only do I have to attempt to make sure everyone else but I have to share my knowledge too, or at least do a little research and then share.
Like when asked, “Is this the worst (meaning CP) it gets”? I come back with a basic printout of GMFCS, because exercise people don’t learn that in class, but it’s still helpful to know.
I ask a PT to act as a “bridge” as well as an advisor as part of my medical team, because she can speak various dialects of medical speak. I return the favor by occasionally sharing with her what I’ve been doing because she might find it helpful for her patients.
Gait reports? I may not understand the data but you’re more than welcome to check mine out if you can figure it out (dictionary optional).
A different approach to fixing a problem? Let’s here it. Be prepared for questions, differing opinions, and/or general musings (the last part usually coming from yours truly).
Medical records? You have full permission to read anything in my file if it’s part of your job to have access to my file, which it usually is.
The unspoken motto around here? I may be the first but I won’t be the last so you better learn what you can now.
I’m on the front line of care for CP adults. I’m there mostly because I have to be, but also because I’ve willingly put myself there. I also realize that I won’t be there forever. At some point in time in the future, whether long or short, those coming up behind me will take over. Thank goodness. But I better leave things in better shape than I found them.
If the statistic that 1 in 303 kids have CP is correct then it’s only a matter of time before the current medical model has to change. Where else are we all going to go if it doesn’t?
The view from the front line isn’t always great, but it’s getting better.
When I first came back from my missionary year I had planned to write all about all I had experienced. I had plenty to write about and share as I saw fit, because as you probably tell from the archives I didn’t blog the entire year. Not once. I was too busy soaking it all in to walk down to the library and write for any length of time. I’d get it all down when I came back Wrong; however I do my best to write about my time once and a while, when the mood strikes.
Molly emailed me a while back and asked if I had any advice about long term service. I sent back a short reply because the answer is really too long for a simple email without getting overwhelming. Besides deciding to serve is like deciding on college it’s really an individual process once you’re really into it. Not to mention that it’s really a call to serve and not everyone is called to serve never mind how to.
It occurred to me that it probably wouldn’t be a bad idea to list some service basics.
Thirteen Things To Know/Ask Before Agreeing To Serve
1. What are the “must haves” & “can do with-outs”
2. Can I afford it?
3. Domestic service or international
4. How long of a commitment can I make?
5. What’s the support system?
6. Be honest, about everything.
7. Don’t be afraid to step out of your box
8. Look at/apply to different programs
9. Instead of just asking “Why?” ask “Why not?” as well.
10. Can you talk to current or former volunteers?
11. What are the organizations “must haves” & “can do with-outs”?
12. Is the commitment extendable?
13. Leave room for the Lord to do some work too.
Anything I missed?
About a week ago I sent a text to a friend. He’s in Los Angeles before moving onto who-knows-where Wisconsin, so I wanted to check in. He’s been to Disney Land and having a great time. And if I didn’t like him so much I’d hate him. I asked him what he’d like to read since he now knows about my blog, because he needs something to do on travel days sitting on that coach bus. He gave me a few ideas. Then I came up with another one.
A story about him.
Enjoy.
Ahem…..
I remember we met during orientation. I’m not sure which segment but he was sitting behind me and I heard him mention to someone next to him where he was living. I happened to live in the same building so I turned around and introduced myself. He was the first people I met from my dorm since none of my floormates nor roommate had moved in yet.
And as they say, the rest is history…….
As I would quickly discover we would happen to run in the same circles so it wouldn’t be hard to become friendly (if there had been a problem), and even though I had a head start on figuring out the college thing we were neck and neck when it came to getting to know the city.
So when I had to get my hands on a copy of The Lion King for a Philosophy paper I asked him to come along. It seemed like an easy task that certainly 2 people could manage. And no one that knew of our plans had an objection.
Other than, “Be safe.”
It wasn’t until after nearly getting lost, and uncomfortable encounter with the video store employee, and a nice chat with some homeless people, we had second thoughts.
Well one thought.
“Why would people let us do this?”
Lesson learned: Don’t walk around DuPont Circle late at night, even if you’re with people, and know where you’re going.
So naturally we did it, again.
We hadn’t seen each other in a while since we were now living in different dorms & we had busy schedules So we went to dinner, instead of attempting to make it ourselves (because that doesn’t always work out well for us).
Again, we knew where we were going, we were together, and it wasn’t too late at night (in comparison).
However we missed our stop. I’m not sure how many of you are familiar with the DC Metro but it’s a fairly easy system to navigate. If you miss your stop, get off at the next one, walk to the other side, and catch the next train back, the whole process takes no longer than 15 minutes.
Instead we got off at the next stop and walked into the area, again DuPont Circle.
Why?
I wish I knew.
We were obviously preoccupied.
We were probably half way to the restaurant when I realized what we were doing. I proceeded to stop practically in the middle of the street to announce that what we were doing was pretty nuts. Again!
After we ate we got back on the train, the right one, and headed back to campus, only to head out anywhere together, in daylight.
The moral?
We should never be allowed around DuPont Circle without supervision.
How’s that for a story?
(I know this story makes me look just as bad as it makes him but I guess that’s what happens when you’re with a close friend. You make yourself look foolish, and be O.K. with it)
